Why you shouldn’t go to Niagara Falls
Erin Bender and her family took an afternoon/evening tour to Niagara Falls from Toronto. Erin spills the beans on why you absolutely, positively should not go to Niagara Falls.
It’s a difficult topic to write about. The iconic destination that you have always dreamed of visiting, and then you read this. All I can say is sorry.
But I mean it. Do NOT visit Niagara Falls. Take my word for it.
1. Niagara Falls is just too beautiful!
As you can imagine Niagara Falls is eye-poppingly scenic and I’m sure the last thing you want to do is lose your perfectly functioning eyes. Mysterious mist, radiant rainbows, and whooshing waterfalls. Then on top of that during summer weekends the falls are lit up with beautiful coloured lights and a spectacular fireworks display.
2. The surrounding area is distractingly gorgeous!
The waterfalls are a big draw card for sure, but did you know the surrounding area is just as scenic? On your way to Niagara check out Niagara Whirlpool. This is a natural water formation along the Niagara River between the US and Canada. The whirlpool is located in the Niagara Gorge, downstream about 6km (3.7 miles). The water is a gorgeous emerald hue and spanning across the chasm is the one-of-a-kind Whirlpool Aero Car running since 1916.
If you are scared of heights or the thought of dangling from a 100-year-old cable car gives you the heebie jeebies, then keep your feet on solid ground and avoid the incredible aero car.
3. You will eat far too much!
You can’t visit Niagara Falls without a pitstop in the Fallsview Buffet at the Sheraton. The only problem is you will quite possibly eat a mountain of food since the views are so mesmerizing, you won’t want to leave.
Situated high above the Niagara River, these are probably most breathtaking views of the American Falls. And best of all you can get even better photos with free access to a small outdoor balcony. No tinted glass getting in the way!
4. Superman will fall from grace!
You must have seen that timeless movie with Christopher Reeves, Superman II, where the careless boy falls over the edge of the railing at Niagara Falls and Superman has plenty of time to watch, change his outfit and then rescue him. You remember that classic, right?
Unfortunately it’s completely inaccurate. Totally fake. There is not that much time to save a falling boy, considering the terminal velocity of a human body is about 200km/h (120 mph) and Horseshoe Falls is only 53 metres tall (174 feet). But what is impressive is that more than 168,000 m3 (six million cubic feet) of water flows over the crest line every minute in high flow.
5. You will get soaked!
Most people plan a trip on the Canadian Hornblower or the US equivalent, Maid of the Mist, during their visit. But this can only mean one thing. You will get wet. Both boats offer free ponchos, because they take you up close to the falls where the mountain of mist completely envelops you.
6. You will need a new memory card!
You can’t help taking photos at Niagara Falls. Lots of them. This means you might run out of space on your camera’s memory card. Of course then you will go home and copy images to your hard drive, share spectacular scenes with jealous friends on Facebook, and even create the most amazing coffee table photo album. That sounds like a lot of hard work!
7. You will need to pee!
All that water flowing constantly is going to inspire your bladder to work overtime and you will need to visit the toilet. Often. Enough said.
Perhaps after all, you really should go
After a bit more careful consideration, perhaps I can recommend that you do visit Niagara Falls. That is, if you can put up with this long list of outrageous reasons not to go.