Surviving a German Beer Festival

So you’re going to Munich for Oktoberfest? This is the world’s biggest festival – 16 million visitors a year, that’s a million for every day of the beer-a-thon, so unless you’re prepared you could end up in a whole heap of trouble. Here are our tips and tricks for surviving Oktoberfest. First of all: Munich, Germany, in October, right? Wrong.

Septemberfest

Most of Oktoberfest is in September, in fact the Mayor of Munich tapped the first ceremonial keg on September 17th 2011 and the party has begun! It used to be in October, but the weather’s better and the nights not so chilly in September. But rest assured, the final weekend of the festival IS in October. Hopefully you’re already sitting in your hostel, brushing up on a few safety hints before hitting the tents and beer gardens….. if not, take this as inspiration for next year.

Go early

There’s seating for 100,000 inside the tents, but get there after 10:30 and you’ll struggle to find an unoccupied one. If you don’t have a seat, expect to do a lot of singing – you’re on your feet, those sitting want entertainment (and maybe they’ll make room for you on the bench if you’re good). You can pre-book seats in tents – do that early too, they sell-out months in advance.

Which tent?

Reserving a seat for 2012 means you’ll have plenty of time to choose your tent, not an easy task. There are 14 main tents, each with outs own character, décor or music.

Hippodrom: One of the smaller tents seating ‘only’ 4,000 people. Known locally as a popular tent for singletons, it’s different to other tents as it also has a ‘Sekt’ bar that serves sparkling wine.
Lowenbrau-Festhelle: This tent is popular among Australians, New Zealanders and South Africans. Thanks to the 4.5 meter lion that guards the main door it’s hard to miss it.
Hofbrau-Festzelt: Thanks to its affiliation with Munich’s best-known beer hall the ‘Hofbrauhaus’, the Hofbrau Tent is popular with revellers from overseas. It’s also one of the only tents that has standing room inside.
Hacker-Festzelt: Inside this tent is unlike any other, thanks to the blue sky and clouds that decorate the tent’s ceiling. Seating 9,300 people, it is also one of the largest. People flock to it around 5.30pm each evening to listen to its well-known rock 'n' roll band.
Augustiner-Festhelle: Ask any respecting Bavarian what tent they think you’ll get the best beer at Oktoberfest and many of them will tell you the Augustiner Tent. Owned by the Augusinter Brewery, it is considered one of the friendliest tents.

Dress rules

Wearing a silly hat will identify you as a tourist. Strangely, wearing traditional Bavarian costume, like lederhosen, will not – go figure! It will also show you’re entering the spirit of the festival – don’t forget this is a serious Bavarian tradition which started back in 1810 to celebrate the marriage of Crown Prince Ludwig and Princess Therese of Saxe-Hildburghausen. Go for the real thing, fake costumes look, well, fake. The lederhosen t-shirt makes it look like you’re disrespecting the locals. And girls, if you’re not the dressing-up type, just remember there isn’t a woman alive who doesn’t look good in a Dirndl!

Hot Smoked

We’re talking about the partygoers, not the bratwurst. It can get hot, smoky and stuffy inside the tents. Quenching your thirst with another liter of strong beer is not the best plan. Try some water, or a Radler (a fancy name for what is, essentially, a shandy). If you’re suffering badly, go outside for a breather (see next tip). All the tents have outdoor areas where you can get some relief, but these areas get crowded too.

When you’re out, you’re out.

If you need to leave the tent to take a breather, you may not be allowed back in. They’re seriously crowded and the security guards are keen to avoid a disaster. Try being friendly to the security on the way in, and on the way out check with them about getting back in (girls, you know how to do this, but guys I wouldn’t try flirting with these men-mountains!)

Eating’s not cheating

Do not try to keep up with the locals. Oktoberfest beer is brewed stronger than usual and comes in one liter mugs. The locals are practised and cunning at drinking tourists under the table. It’s also highly recommended you eat a little something to balance the alcohol. By “a little” we mean the Halbe Hendl – a roasted half a chicken.

Exit strategy

Don’t take anything valuable to the festival, you’ll forget it, misplace it, lose it or get it nicked (crowds are the petty thief’s friend). Have a plan for getting back to your hotel/hostel. Firstly, remember where you’re staying – the name and the address – write it down. And keep some cash for the cab fare, walking half way across Munich while blind drunk is no fun and leaves you vulnerable to thugs, crooks and scam artists.

Don’t be a mug

It’s hard to keep under control when you’ve had a liter or two, but try not to be a goose. It annoys the locals and will probably get you a punch on the nose from some other equally drunk twit. Don’t take the mugs – if you’re caught with one of the heavy glasses it’ll cost you a 50 Euro fine. Learn a few phrases, it’ll make you some friends and add to the fun. Go on the rides at the carnival BEFORE consuming 5 liters of beer and a whole roast chicken with sauerkraut and pickles – need I say more.

Don't get drunk. (Seriously)

Which brings us to the last and most important tip – don’t get drunk. You’ll have more fun if you’re able to hang around all day, you’ll remember you had fun, you’ll avoid getting into a fight with an equally drunk foreigner over the way you eyed-off his sausage, and you won’t need to become acquainted with the ways of dealing with alcohol poisoning (a serious condition!). The local name for those who don’t pace themselves is bierleiche – beer corpse!

It's a serious warning: if you get falling down drunk, don’t expect travel insurance direct to pay your medical bills if something happens. We all know how a few beers under the belt can make you loose your sense of what’s safe. Risk-taking behaviour increases and it doesn’t always end well.

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